A look forward and back

I've had some really wonderful times in my life.  Some times I think I may not experience such things again.  Maybe I'm a little down right now... I'm trying to think of the things to look forward to.  Sometimes you have to make your own happy moments.


I get so tired sometimes, and really struggle to keep things together.  In those times I remember the rest that is promised to God's people.  I wonder when it will come....


My kids already tell me what they want to be when they grow up.  Just today it changed to Winnie saying she wants to be a dog groomer and Leighanna said she wants to work at a fair!  "A carnie!,"  I thought to myself.  I do think about their futures - what they will do, where they will go, who they may marry.  None of these things are under my control, but I can dream.


I told them today that they may grow up with some of the kids in their class, and may even marry one of the boys, lol!  The looks on their faces were priceless!  Right now they call boys "monsters"! 


I really want to be happy, but happiness is fleeting.  Having hope and joy in Christ is all that is worthwhile.


I'm trying to lose weight again.  It's such a long, involved process.  Sometimes it seems unfair to have to struggle so hard with weight.  People think you're ugly, lazy, less than human, and sometimes you feel that way about yourself.  It's definitely "stinking-thinking" and isn't encouraging to say the least.


So I'm still working on my "happily ever after".  I'm very thankful for what I have.  When I get tired of cleaning my floors I think of those who have no floors or dirt floors.  When it bothers me how overweight I am I can think of those who don't know when their next meal will be.  I suppose happiness is less circumstantial but perspective.  Let's hope.